Sunday, October 12, 2008

The end of a perfect relationship...

My love, my love is gone and what can I do? I feel so alone. Will I ever have what I've dreamed of? Will this feeling of despair and regret ever go away? I did it. No one else is to blame for this tragedy but me. My motives were right, but it ended in disaster... my emotions were right what I did would be considered noble to some. Even though I did what I had to, my heart will never heal, the wounds I thought were healed have been re-opened too many times and I'm not sure if I can handle the pain again. I've tried to be strong I've tried so hard not to let everyone see my pain. But I cannot put on this strong face anymore.
Things have to change. I wanted to give up, I thought it would be in the best interest of everyone to just walk away, but walking away was harder than I imagined. When you finally think that it's all going great, when the sweet smell of love is in the air and one phone call ends it all. One call is all it took to tear my love apart. To say I'll never try again... I won't lie I felt like I couldn't move on, that I wouldn't move on. But, I will not allow this to keep me down. I will fix the problem and live to bake another day. So, if you missed out on the story my bread didn't turn out the way I was hoping. I had to pull it out early and the middle was a little doughy, it was still delicious even with the doughy middle. And I will bake bread and perfect it the next time, or the time after that, or the time after the time after that.

8 comments:

Nicole said...

you goofball....

Marylou said...

Oh bother I thought Oh! Dear my poor baby! What has gone wrong??? I still have faith in you! It is just a matter of exercising.... patience...

Marylou said...

Do you need to come down and let me teach you the art of bread baking???? I have some ready right now; well, almost ready to go into the oven. Come let me help you through this crisis. Together we CAN do it. I just had a lesson in connections I posted about how we need to be there to support one another.

Mark and Jordan Anderson said...

Hmm girlie, girl why is this so hard for you? What's your oven temp? That seems like the issue... we'll see. Come to my house and use my nice oven and see if your loaves don't turn out nice and yummy!

Ok, so it's a ploy to get you to come down here and play with me and the family!

Chandra said...

You poor thing. How heartbreaking that must have been. So sorry for all the emotions you have had to go through. I think I am buying you a bread machine for Christmas.

Kristi Eileen said...

that would be a great christmas gift Chan;)

Nicole said...

isn't it sad that some people's bread lives turn out so bad, while others bake brownies and they turn out PERFECT?

Nicole said...

You haven't written on here in a long time...was it that devastating that you can't even cope with life anymore???